Introvert: Blessing or Curse? Honestly, Both

Is it a difficult question to answer? A little. I'm an introvert, yet depending on the situation I can feel quite open with others. Deep down, though, I carry the introvert flag, loud and proud.

So, is being an introvert a blessing or a curse? In total honesty, it's both.

According to our faithful search engine, an introvert is "a person who tends to turn inward mentally, avoids large groups, and feels more energized by time alone." Guilty as charged. On the days I go quiet, I'm simply on a me-time spree. #MeMyselfandI. I'd gently ask for a little understanding when that happens, because it's rarely about anyone else.

Now, let's start with the blessings. Quiet people tend to steer clear of drama, and I've found that peaceful. I'd rather save my energy for conversations that matter to me than spend it on small talk. Time alone also lets me focus on myself, mentally, spiritually and physically. I've learned to be my own person and to rely on myself, because even with the best intentions, not everyone can be there every time.

Being an introvert, has given me hobbies that are entirely mine, like reading, writing and drawing. It has also made me a keen observer. Because I tend to watch rather than dive into the conversation, I notice the little things at a gathering: a glance across the room, an unspoken message, a moment of awkwardness. Consequently, my circle of friends is small, but it's built on quality and honesty. Every social outing becomes something I truly look forward to, and I know I've become stronger and more determined because of my introversion.

Routine bores me, and you might assume all that time alone would drain me. Surprisingly, it does the opposite. Stepping back from people gives me the energy to keep doing what makes me happy.

I should add that I'm not a hermit, with all due respect. I have friends I love spending time with, and the feeling is mutual. I just find large groups tiring, and I'm not drawn to conversations I don't feel connected to. Dinner parties can be a stretch for me, and I usually end up sipping my drink and quietly people-watching.

A few years back, someone I was dating said I was antisocial around his friends. We simply had very different ideas of a good evening, and I don't hold it against either of us.

Of course, there are real challenges too. Acquaintances may stop including you in their plans, though sometimes that's a blessing in disguise, says the introvert in me. Obligatory social events can feel awkward, but a good cocktail helps and time tends to fly.

Then there's the label. Even if you aren't 100% introverted, people may label you one anyway, and you can end up spending energy trying to show them otherwise. It can also cost you opportunities, since some jobs involve a lot of social interaction and others may assume you won't enjoy them. I used to work as a customer representative at a branch of a bank, so I know there's more to us than the stereotype. Underneath it all, there's an unspoken pressure of feeling misunderstood because of who you are.

So where do I land? Extremes in anything rarely serve us well. Am I an introvert? Yes. Do I truly enjoy my own company? Also yes, and I think that's a perfectly natural thing to feel, even if it's not always said out loud.

As life and the world around us keep changing, I find that I value genuine connections more and more. My circle is small, and it shrank a little after I relocated, but I still enjoy going out when I feel like it and meeting new, genuine people in interesting places. I don't feel I owe anyone a demonstration of my extrovert side.

If you like my company, come along. If not, that's perfectly fine too, and I'll be happily enjoying my own.